The Search is On.

Roger and I have been looking at officants. Well, I have been looking at officiants while Roger "uh-huhs" in the background. I grew up going to church so I never thought that I would have to pay an officiant (besides the donation to the church of course) but now that we are not official members of the church out here they won't marry us. The good thing is that Colorado, what with its picturesque landscapes and what not, is a popular wedding spot. I am going through over 100 different websites trying to find an officiant that I like. Maybe I am too finicky. It doesn't matter if the officiant does a perfect job the only ones there are going to be Roger, Danielle, and myself.

Musings of a Lazy Day.

I know 2 posts in one day is a little much, but I'm in this uncreative mood - itching to write, yet I don't necessarily have anything to write about. I apologize in advance if this is confusing and unorganized.

Today is Saturday which means eggs for breakfast followed by Public Access food shows (because there is nothing like Scandinavian cooking), Roger napping on the couch, and finally Band Practice from 4:00pm to 1:00 AM. I didn't think that couples got this predictable until they where empty-nesters. My G-gangstadawg-ma (that's grandma's nickname from my youngest cousin) is actually making fun of us for being boring. The really scary part is that I love our silly routine.

I would like to have some big philosophical reasoning about it. The truth is that I just love being around Roger. When we took a break (he sent me home worried about my health) it wasn't the big romantic gestures that I missed. It was the little idiosyncrasies that kept me up at night wishing I could call him. It was those little things that I never paid attention to, or even was irked by. Roger spits toothpaste on the spout while brushing his teeth, I mean who does that? He also snores in his sleep, loudly (he is doing that while I type this actually). Its no wonder I have sleep problems with a chainsaw right next to my ear. Yet when we where apart I sat there disturbed how silent it was. Every thing reminded me of him. I missed his silly routines and his auditor stories.

Now that I am back I have been harboring a secret fear that I will have another bad bipolar episode and he will send me back or that he will just decide that he misses being single. I know that its asinine but its the truth. He has told me that he can't wait to marry me and that he was crazy without me but I still worry. I can't do anything to stop that worry, maybe once we are married it will subside.

I do intend not to make the same mistakes I did before though. I lived with Roger for months and took all of his wonderful traits for granted. The one good thing about the whole mess is that I have become immeasurably more perceptive. I notice his scent, how his body is always a few degrees warmer than mine, the twinkle in his eyes when he is picking at me.

Well Roger just woke up, which means its about time to go to band practice so I guess that's all for now.

A Whole Post About BBQ Sauce

The number one thing I like about band practice (besides spending time with my wonderful fiance of course)? The food. I have gained 12 lbs since Roger joined the band. I know that this totally goes against the diet I committed too but since we are spending the afternoon at someone's house I am claiming that I can't do anything else. ^_^ Today is ribs. Roger was put in charge of providing the BBQ Sauce. To me this means a trip to Walmart to get some Sweet Baby Rays. To Roger this meant a trip to Walmart to get $10 worth of ingredients to make his own BBQ sauce. At first I was skeptical. I mean who makes their own BBQ sauce? Of course Roger would. If you don't know he is an amazing cook. I tried it on the spatula and was won over. I don't care about the ribs anymore I want a spoon and I will be happy to sit and eat it until I am sick. I don't think that the rest of the band would be very happy about that though so I guess I will have to wait.

One of 3 jars of Roger's BBQ Sauce.

Sweet Dreams? Yeah Right!

Being the sweet heart that he is, Roger decided to get me some Melatonin supplements in order to cure my insomnia a few weeks ago. Well they warn that vivid dreams is a side effect. I didn't mind I mean I have hallucinated before so how bad can one little dream be?

Well at 1:00AM I found out how bad a little dream could be. I don't remember anything of the actual dream. It started with me half awake and looking at Roger (who had a demon/monster face thing) while screaming bloody murder. He said I only screamed twice but it felt like it went on for a few minutes but since I was the one dreaming I will believe his version of events. I have never in my life woken up screaming let alone without remembering the actual dream. 

Roger was very sweet about it, hugging me and saying it was just a dream and that I am alright. I still took over an hour to get back to sleep. Thankfully I had a nicer dream then. Roger and I where on a plane somewhere and we wanted to go to PF Chang's but they where closed so Snoop Dog (seriously I have never listened to him in my life) took us back to his place, incidentally he lives behind a tiny little picture frame in a long hallway (think Willy Wonka), and gave us fried chicken. 

I swear if Roger makes fun of my fear of the dark ever again I will just stay awake from now on.

I won the Say it Sweet Contest.

I entered Wedding Wire's Say it Sweet Contest and won. It basically was 250 words on why Wedding Wire is so awesome. My prize is 1000 chocolates from Lake Champlain Chocolates and organza bags to use as favors. I am getting married in 2 months but the wedding wont be for a year so its a good thing that chocolate stores well. I just worry that I will end up eating them all and having to rolled down the aisle.

Spandex and Rabit Food.

The sudden realization that I have less than 2 months until my wedding has just sunk in. For some reason this has caused both incredible excitement as well as horror. Despite the fact that Roger has seen me naked many times I am vain enough to feel the necessity to get to my "ideal weight" before our wedding. Apart from amputation this is a physically impossible feat. I am only 5 foot tall so, according to my BMI, I should weigh 125lbs or less. I don't think I have weighed that since I started kindergarten.

I spent this morning in a crazed blur researching crash diets and killer exercise programs just to support my vanity. The scary part is that I actually found plans that promise to make me lose the weight with time to spare. They called for exacting measurements of food and Olympic training routines. It all reminded me of hanging out with my friend Randi when she was trying to make weight. There was a time she was so hungry I offered her part of my orange and she went and weighed it too see how much it would up her total weight while it was in her stomach.

After a few hours my common sense kicked in and I closed out all of the browsers. It took me 19 years to gain this weight and I am not going to lose it all in a month. I sat and typed up my goals for working out and made a plan to do to lose the weight.

1. Go for a run every other day. Every run lasts roughly 30 minutes.
2. On alternating days do 100 sit ups, and push ups.
3. Drink at least 3 cups of water a day.
4. Before eating drink a glass of water and wait 15 minutes to see if I am hungry still.
5. Cook all the meals instead of eating out.
6. Only one soda a week.

This should be enough to get started. Focus on the inside, and the outside will follow. 

My Trip to the Fabric Store

I have decided to start a hobby to keep myself occupied. I could clean the kitchen or do laundry, or the bathroom, make the bed, (you get the picture right?) but I figured sewing would be more enjoyable. So I decided to walk to the fabric store in town. I think I was channeling Kermit the Frog for some reason. 

I am not really sure what I will make out of the fabric. I mean its not really the most neutral of colors. Maybe someone would like a stuffed animal version of Larry the Cucumber? Yes, I am referencing the Veggie Tales movies. Admit it, you loved the movies too. I could even add a little voice thing where it sang the theme song.

"If you like to talk to tomatoes..." Don't worry I won't type it all out.

Seriously though, I bet they would sell for $30 a pop on Etsy. Dang copyright infringement laws...