Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Vag-ductor.

For those that didn't read the Rabbit Food and Spandex post I am attempting to lose 19 years worth of excess fat in a month (or at least as much as I can). In efforts to do so I have started going to the dreaded gym again. I don't know why I hate going so much. I like working out once I get there, and the hot tub is awesome- so I really can't pinpoint my distaste for it.

Anyways, Roger and I went yesterday and I will head back as soon as I am finished with this post (got to give the ipod a chance to recharge).

So the gym has this machine called the hip-abductor. I am sure that people that go to gyms regularly would know what it is but since none of my family falls into that category here you go. It looks like a harmless enough piece of workout equipment doesn't it? Its all a ploy though.  Maybe I a doing it wrong, but the "hip abductor" didn't work my hips at all. I was discussing this with Roger and decided that a more honest name for it would be the Vag-Ductor. I swear I felt like I just went through labor after a few sets on that thing. I think they should rename the thing but Roger said that no guy would use a machine named the Vag-Ductor and every guy in the gym would just be standing around it waiting for a woman to work out on it.

So on a side note, 24 hour fitness has a really big pool. Normally I just skip over the pool but Roger suggested that we do a few laps. I am embarrassed to admit it but he schooled me. I mean like twice in a row by over 5 feet.

I know I am out of shape but dang the guy is almost 50. After about 5 minutes of laughing at me he explains (teases) that I have bad form and he used to be an awesome swimmer. I think his exact words where that I do the "monkey stroke" and that he has never seen someone swim like I do. Its a damn good thing I love him because he is kinda an ass at times.

So my new fitness goal is to be able to out swim Roger. I know that I am petty, I really don't care.

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